It’s About Making Babies!

I haven’t read Ann Coulter’s new book – Guilty: Liberal “Victims” and Their Assault on America. I did glance at a copy in Hastings yesterday. Like much of Ms. Coulter’s writing, what I saw was stark, provocative, and factual. If you haven’t read her writings on various ultra-conservative blogs and in print, most people will either agree with her – or hate her with a passion reserved for heretics and that particular fear and loathing the criminal defendant feels toward a particularly competent prosecuting attorney. That is, Ann Coulter is an icon of conservative thinking, well written, well spoken, and versed in the facts and insights to back up her point of view.

In case you wondered, I mostly agree with Coulter.

What caught my eye yesterday was a snippet of a couple of paragraphs, detailing the impact of growing up in a single mother home. Children of single mothers are much, much more likely to run away, to do drugs, be convicted of crimes, be involved in teen pregnancy, drop out of school. We aren’t talking about a few percentage points of difference, but 5 and 7 times as likely to be involved in antisocial activity. I can’t wait for the book to come out in paperback ..

I didn’t read enough of the book to be sure of what aspect of single motherhood Coulter feels is responsible for the difference. I do recall an effort by “conservatives” in San Francisco, back in the 1980′s, that felt children raised in lesbian homes were disadvantaged and in desperate need of “saving”. When the do-gooders hit the school board with an urgent appeal to Do Something – the schools audited children and how they performed in school. They found that, in their school system, children in lesbian homes were better adjusted in school behavior, and made better grades on average, than most children in two heterosexual parent families – and much better than those in single parent families.

I don’t believe that mere lack of a male parent is the reason children of single mothers are more likely to show up on lists of “problems”.

I don’t think single mothers having less time to spend with their kids is the sole factor. I don’t think most single mothers are less moral, nor less disciplined, nor less capable. By striving to build a home and family, but nurturing their children to the best of their ability, by continually overcoming obstacles, many single mothers quickly outgrow the norms of achievement that most Americans – men or women – aspire to. Most of us don’t begin to achieve what most single mothers do.

The song “In The Living Years” makes the point that “every generation blames the one before.” What I blame the generation that began producing so many single mothers for – is ignorance.

Going back generations, I think that the culture and society we know today is the legacy of the old “arranged marriage” and a woman running away from a marriage would be returned – by the sheriff if she didn’t end up in jail. Servitude, indeed. Today we have lost a small part of the expectation and custom of that day. Divorce is easy, we don’t jail people for running away (well, we do jail kids, some times, at least the poor kids, but that is another story). We pick our own mates. We still vow to church and state to live in marriage “until death do us part.” Only, like declarations of love, the vow is something we mean on that day, and don’t let it get in our way later.

Our marriage vows are usually based on the “jail them if they run” days. “Dad” still “gives” the bride away. Adultery is still a crime on the books in most states, if never or seldom enforced. We still vow our love is “forever” when we really mean “I feel deeply at this moment. Can we get naked now?”

We won’t talk about why Americans and followers of religious beliefs *must* have babies – to continue their culture and beliefs into the next generation. But we do allow the decadent pursuit of sex adventures to intrude into cultural imperatives and muddle the affairs of the family. We associate “courting rituals” with “barbarians” and think we are above that kind of primitive display. And our children get their tongues pierced (an ornament intended to enhance the pleasure of an oral sex partner) or their nipples, genitals, and bellies to be pierced (intended to enhance sex sensations). They choose adornment to enhance sexual attraction – emphasize wealth, breast and body shape, fad styles and colors and scents.

So it is no wonder that teen pregnancy is a social problem. The wonder is that so many women grow into motherhood and manage to raise their children.

I watched a woman burst into a local cafe and announce to friends, in tears, that her daughter was pregnant at 15. That she had delivered her first child at 15, and had wanted better for her daughter. Duh. Yes, she wanted better. No, Mom hadn’t learned better, and hadn’t been able to teach her daughter what daughter needed to know. The very same problem that Mom had – ignorant parents, anti-social peers, was still active 16 years later.

The inevitability of her problem seems so painfully obvious. Not only had the young man not been charged with statutory rape, Mom didn’t approve of him because he belittled and abused her daughter.

Is this single mother typical? I doubt it. Does the pattern of teen pregnancy repeat like this? I think it does. Does the impact of a pattern of drug and alcohol abuse apply? Some times.

You cannot legislate morality. (Barry Goldwater, 1964)

We cannot pass laws to eliminate the allure of bright lights and unfettered pursuits of carnal pleasures. Conspicuous consumption – displays of wealth or at least “not impoverished” is pretty universal today. And social currency today still seems to include being sexually desirable, at least on the surface and especially for the age-wise and emotionally immature. There are people that surround themselves with values and communities of respect – but the onslaught of advertising and “entertainment” is pernicious.

We can start teaching ourselves, and our children, about why we should be making babies, and why picking a co-parent is more important than picking a hot date. We can do our best to pass along the best that we know, to the next generation.

Scott Adams finds that there actually is free will on The Dilbert Blog. It is called ‘sugar’.

This makes me wonder if there is an optimal food strategy for seduction. Apparently bringing a woman chocolate will only increase her glucose levels and with that her ability to resist you. In fact, a guy should want his woman to be good and hungry, preferably on a diet. It turns out that resisting one sort of temptation makes it harder to resist a different sort at the same time.

How to intensify your strategy? Booze.

If that is not enough, I just did a Google search to confirm that alcohol lowers your glucose levels. That fits the theory. Everyone knows they have less will power after a few drinks.

Check Scott’s Blog for references to the articles on blood sugar and thinking, and on alcohol and blood glucose levels.

There are songs about this tactic, such as “The girls all get prettier at closing time.” Which goes to show, that guys also react to elevated alcohol and lowered blood sugar.

“The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” With lots of sugary desert, to spike those blood glucose levels so you can make him belief he has arrived at Nirvana – and after the resulting blood sugar level crash, he won’t recall what he agreed to. Not that I would recommend the salesman’s “Presumed Sale” tactic.

It all makes so much sense! Of course, there is the assumption that you are looking for a sexual encounter, and have either established a relationship or don’t care for one.

Finding a mate, developing a long term companionship, this, I think start and proceed where alcohol is *not* served, and under optimum conditions for clear thinking. Because a partner relationship should be based on honor, and integrity, and respect, and compassion – and you gotta be thinking clearly, or you may miss the red flags. You want to pick a sofa, or a car, when in peak physical and mental condition. Why pick an intimate companion that you might get attached to, while under the influence of missed meals or alcohol?

Thanks for clearing that up, Scott!