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Dating the Ex’s Friend

November 12th, 2008

LisaQ asked on 20-Forty.com – “Is It Okay to Date an Ex’s Friend?” .

OK – here I go again about respect and character.

You broke up with the ex. For whatever reason. But you did pick the now-absent one.

One would assume that ‘best friends’ or good friends of the ex would find the ex to be a suitable companion. Presumably their character traits don’t conflict too badly.

So why on God’s green earth would you drink again from the same well? “Oh, the drunk I slept with last night sat on the left end of the bar, so tonight I will stick to the right end and avoid waking up with a drunk again!” Not.

Or – just maybe – you really want to stay in the Ex’s life. Maybe to prove, daily, that the ex made a mistake letting you slip away, that others do find you worth hanging on to. Oh, what a shoddy basis for a relationship. That has to be a really good handle on your new mate-prospect – one upping his friend. That has to get old after a day or three. And still leaves you encountering the ex, regularly – or costing your new Chosen One a friend, beginning to isolate the New Love from friends – does that *really* sound healthy?

Or maybe this is a sick version of playing ‘hard to get’ or ‘I am going to fake interest in someone else to make you jealous and want me back.’

Nope. I can’t see any way to better your situation, to find a life worth living. Refusing to date the ex’s friend is sheer self defense.

Brad K Dating, Selection ,

  1. November 12th, 2008 at 11:40 | #1

    Well I am very different from my friends. If someone were to date one of my friends and then me, I think they would find an entirely different ball game! But then again, I wouldn’t likely date someone who is my friend’s ex. Nor have I ever dated someone who is the best friend of someone I broke up with. Perhaps this was all by sheer instinct.

    Cathouse Teri’s last blog post..Love? LORD ABOVE!! Now You’re Tryin’ To Trick Me In Love!

  2. November 12th, 2008 at 19:32 | #2

    Cathouse Teri, Thanks!

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