It’s About Making Babies!

We have to be careful about the people we spend time around. A good person can astound with the glory of simple, honest living – if we raise our eyes and look.

“Finally Seen The Light” commented on a post about “Relationship advice: She won’t take a hint..” on Baggage Reclaim that

“I was looking for a relationship to make me happy and happiness is hard work that has to be done by myself.”

But I think part of happiness is our environment, including the people around us.

When I look at a gorgeous sunset, or even just the same, simple, plain sunset that happens 99% of the time, the beauty can reach me – but I have to raise my eyes and notice it. I can carry the memory of the sunset, but that dims with time. The memory of the delight I can relive much longer – emotions are powerful things. But the sunset had to be there, and I had to be ready to look.

Almost anyone will have moments that delight us, but people are people, and much less consistent than sunsets. If we want more beauty, more joy in our lives, we have to choose to spend our time with honest, respectful people. Then our inner happiness can grow, because we are able to lift our eyes and cherish the people around us more often. We have to look, but we have to have good people there, too.

The problem is learning to distinguish between humor and joy. Humor, or adventure, or excitment always contain a bit of fear, a risk of failing, of humiliation. When we laugh at ourselves or at others we take on a habit of divisiveness, of feeling we are better than others or less than others, and thinking about our ‘better or worse’ status all the time. That uncertainty of our value is really easy for bar toads and assclowns to manipulate. Hang with drinkers, and you take on some of the unsavory habits of drinkers – including the surly attitudes from hangovers, the deceit from covering up periods of being under the influence, the isolation from spending time drinking and hung over. Hang with perpetual daters, and you lose sight of what it means to live in a family, of living in a home full of love and respect. Hang with manipulative, bullying people, and you confuse love, an emotion that makes a foundation for families, with sex and with appeasement.

Referring to sex as ‘making love’ is likely one of the shortest fairy tales I know.

If we look around, we can find individual examples of courage in appalling places, of respect and moral behavior just everywhere .. if we look. And if we avoid noticing, or associating with, bullying (humor), with lies and other deceit, with other forms of disrespect – there is more joy and strength around us to inspire us.

When we interact with good people, we reinforce good habits. When we spend time with bullies or disrespectful people, ..

Happiness comes from within, but we have to do what we can. And that includes avoiding bad influences and looking for the good.