Comments on: Just go away!

By: Brad K

Brad K — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 01:41:35 +0000

@Loving Annie, Welcome! When you assume that someone slipping away unexpectedly doesn’t care about you, a relationship with you, or likely himself, that leaves you in the safest, sanest place – *knowing* that ‘Good Riddance’ is the way to think of him.

Even if later events offer an explanation, caution and skepticism are both warranted. He slunk away once, count on it happening again.

@Honey, Reading your comment, the first thing that came to mind was that people offering advice likely haven’t learned to read disrespect and deceit in others, either. Most people never learn what it means to get up close and personal with a deceitful, hurtful, disrespectful person. There advice just can’t accommodate that level of emotional risk and damage, so their advice tends toward economic or family reputation concerns. Which need to be considered, but are secondary. Everyone is entitled to defend themselves.

@Eathan, thanks for visiting!

What I was referring to was the partner (guy or gal) that leaves a long-term (greater than 6 months) relationship without actually stating, “There is nothing here for me. I am going.” At the other end of the relationship, when you have just met, common courtesy demands that you excuse yourself if you step away from your very first introduction or meeting. And that social expectation persists, forever as far as I know. I feel it is courteous to let someone know if you think of them as a possible future contact or not, or if you no longer think of them as a contact or dating partner or life-mate.

By: Eathan

Eathan — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 21:08:44 +0000

I read your comments on another page… and I couldn’t say it better. I was thinking the same thing when I read about it a few weeks ago…and Since I’m a guy…I totally understand cutting your ties while you have nothing invested.

By: Honey

Honey — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 19:32:03 +0000

It gets even more confusing when people who are supposed to have your best interests at heart (and maybe even they do) give you bad advice because they don’t know the whole situation. I know plenty of people who stay with someone they know they’re not truly compatible with because of the opinion of parents or close friends. The fact of the matter is that no one really knows what a relationship is like except the two people in it, and if you feel you have to leave, then you should trust that gut instinct over the (however well-intentioned) advice from people who can never know the full story.

By: Loving Annie

Loving Annie — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 17:06:08 +0000

This makes me shudder because it is all so true. I can see just what I’ve done in the past. Those 5 reasons were very real. As are what NML brings up.

Now I hope with all the information, to make more effective/better choices for me in the future…

I think it is vicious/devastating/leaves no closure when someone leaves without an explanation.
Now however, my perspective would be that that alone told me I was better off without them.