It’s About Making Babies!

Wired.com has an article that is all the news. Broadband providers are facing tough times. See, ATT sells DSL subscriptions. Only, they only sold 46,000 DSL subscriptions last quarter, down from 1/2 million. Poor folks. And I still can’t receive ATT cell calls at my home, on even-numbered days, or while the sun shines. Grr. Oh, and they won’t run DSL to my place. I am more than three miles from their equipment. Wow. Like, they can’t set up some feeder stations?

Verizon tells a bit more of their story.

As it turns out, the company lost 133,000 DSL subscribers during the quarter, but added 187,000 FiOS internet subscribers.

Yep. Verizon beat ATT with new customers, about 54,000 new broadband customers. And cable is concerned their reports will look weak, too. Wait. If the cable companies are releasing numbers - doesn’t that mean they already have the data now? So they are waiting for .. ?? I wonder if they have a computer, and a Perl programmer to list out the total new subscribers and count them. Should take a day or three, tops.

I recall satellite and other broadband providers making ads that show how abusive cable companies are, coming in with low initial rates then following with dreadful bills. The message? People are idiots to select cable.

Cable responded with the message that they are the only smart choice. Meaning people are idiots to select satellite, etc.

So, now, I see that people feel like idiots if they choose cable, or if they choose an alternate technology. Wow. Who could have predicted that calling everyone’s customers an idiot could sour a whole market? Seems like evolution at work, thinning the gene pool of idiot marketers and abusive companies.

Once the bozos pushing expensive hookups get done convincing their target audience (subscribers to competitors) that they are idiots - how do you reassure them they they are smart to change to your product? I mean, you just established an I-am-smart and you-are-idiots relationship.

I mean, does it seem like any non-idiot would avoid them all?

Right now, gas prices are taking an unexpected hit on monthly budgets. The latest word is that heating bills will be 50% higher this winter. Oops. Not a good time to be touting a $60/month broadband subscription.

ATT is supposed to be letting people sign up for DSL at $9.95, only they won’t advertise that program, nor run it past their 3 mile boundary. And my phone bill has gone from $60/month for 5 years, to $74.60 since AT&T bought out SBC. And my dialup? Dropped speed from 33.6 k to 19.6 or on good days 21.6 k. It was 16k this morning.

And that all begs the question - is there any reason that broadband costs more to operate than dialup or DSL, once the apparatus is installed? Or is the higher price just because they can? Every other price in computers has come down, over time. Why wouldn’t us idiots wait for the fallout, for the luster to flake off the idiot-making marketers, and wait for a responsible, competitive price and functionality range?

Did AT&T sign up 46,000 dedicated customers, 46,000 people testing the waters, or 46,000 people that don’t want to be called idiots? Or some combination?

Perhaps AT&T’s marketing is just too effective. They convinced so many people that idiots shouldn’t be subscribing to competitors, that the public decided that AT&T spends too much time watching idiots, and maybe not enough time providing inexpensive service. Oops. That might just be me.

NML wrote a good article on Baggage Reclaim, Does Emotionally Unavailable Equal He is just no that into you? That was May 3, 2007 - a year ago. Only in the last couple of weeks the responses have been unveiling more recent stories of ladies being confused and hurt by guys that aren’t emotionally involved.

debbie asks angry, shouted words her guy used when she confronted him.

To debbie: Apparently we see things differently. I understand why he didn’t use the words, “It is over.” Where you see him leaving a door open - I see that he thought is was *long* over already. There was no need for him to talk about something ending when it was already gone for him.

Remember that women are much smarter than men. Women can talk about emotions in a useful, intelligent fashion. Men communicate in well-placed grunts and pokes. You are expecting well-thought out, pithy words from the heart. A discussion that is meaningful and every word a poet’s life work. You cannot listen to men that way, it will *always* get you in trouble. Get a guy writing poetry (poetry is prose, or writing, with a higher information density) and you can take the words apart, analyze the meanings, and accomplish something useful.

When a guy stands on the altar and says “I do,” that is different. By law and by custom, that public vow is short, public so that the community witnesses (in the legal sense) the vow, and the vow is recorded with public records and certified to the state. Very, very few other words that a man speaks can ever be taken as literally again in his life.

Men tend to speak to support the current activity (remember, never hold words spoken an our before or a half hour after an orgasm - or the expectation of an orgasm - against the guy, because they were spoken with an agenda, not with heart). There are exceptions, but assume that a guy is always speaking of the ephemeral moment - don’t analyze the words because they don’t carry that much meaning beyond the immediate surface.

And what if I am wrong? What if he really meant, “Leave me alone at work!” or “Leave me alone today!” or even “Leave me a lone when I have my clothes on!”? It really doesn’t matter - what he might be leaving the door open to is misery, confusion, and endless hopelessness for you - while he gets to keep a casual playmate. He doesn’t ever want to be a man in your life that you can depend on. His words express anger and disrespect - he is intentionally using words that hurt to get his way at the moment. But with the time you have spent in his company, that shouldn’t be happening.

You are not married to this guy. That is fact, solid fact. This is still the casual part of the relationship, no matter how many weeks or years you have dated, what intimacies you have shared (outside a mated relationship!). Casual, as in ‘just visiting’. His responsibility, to himself and to you, is to enjoy himself when he is with you - if he doesn’t enjoy time with you, then he is supposed to be a man and leave, not take advantage of whatever he can get from you. Your responsibility during the casual part of the relationship is to make his time with you fun for him. If he isn’t having fun, you aren’t doing your job. If you don’t flat-out *enjoy* making him happy, then you are the one responsible for ending things.

Does this mean women end relationships, while men abandon them? Maybe, but I see each gender doing as badly as the other at ending dates and relationships. If he doesn’t realize that making a date happy makes his time with her more enjoyable, then he is too stupid to make babies with.

This is casual time in your relationship, not a lifetime mated family you are trying to keep together. You aren’t having fun, so you have to leave him to himself. If you don’t feel casual about him, then you let yourself get intense out of turn. Next time, keep the priorities straight - find a guy, assess his character (reject him if he doesn’t measure up), get to know his family, friends, and emotional strengths (and reject him if he doesn’t measure up), figure out if you enjoy his company enough to build a family with him (and reject him if he doesn’t measure up). As you can see, I find the first step, ‘find a guy’ to be the single most important part.

Finding a good man of good character takes work. When solving a family problem, look for solutions among families. Rely on the advice of *married* women (happily married women would likely be more fruitful, you are looking to avoid unhappy surprises). Try to show respect to yourself and others, be honest and honorable. Choose to avoid casual contact with people that aren’t honest, respectful, honorable, and choose good people to spend time with.

Do this for a couple of reasons. You want a man of good character, one that will not be lost if you want to make a family with him. But such a guy is looking for a woman that respects herself and others. You cannot hang around jerks and loses, without learning how they view themselves and the world, and looking like you share their character flaws. So you want to look like good life-partner material. You want people of good character to help you find someone of likewise good character.

You have to leave behind the habits and view of the world that this guy found attractive, before a good man will notice you.