Prom – She got herself kicked out.
Christy writes at Christy’s Coffee Break about Senior Thrown Out Of Prom For Too Revealing Dress – Would You Have Let Her In Or Given Her The Boot?
How skimpy is too skimpy is the question on people’s minds
Oh, my goodness. The girl shows up in a skimpy dress, the school officials tell her she violates the school dress code. For some reason the article on BreakingNews.com doesn’t cover why the girl is still there, but the school officials call the cops. The girl is escorted from the premises (a Marriott hotel) in handcuffs. I assume led away by the police, unless her boyfriend is kinky, really prepared, and weird.
Two things. First, the Prom is ostensibly a school function. Why a school would be involved, except as a community service, is a question some schools have asked – and dropped their proms. Anyway, at a school function, why is any student permitted the audacity and disrespect of contesting school officials? I don’t care if the people involved were right or wrong, unless they are acting to harm someone, they get the benefit of my doubt. At least until their actions can be reviewed. But it won’t be students doing a peer or board review. At least, not if you want kids to grow up to live peacefully and productively in society. First rule of parenting – don’t reward bad behavior. Arguing with teachers (i.e. talking back “your mouth is moving”) is disrespectful. I don’t care how much you pay for the dress, how much you think you have invested in effort, etc. Pay attention, get it right, keep your head down, learn what you can. Answer when called on. Do everything in your power to enable the teacher/parent/chaperon to accomplish their task the best way possible.
Next – the dress. There are places to go naked. Organizations exists, family-oriented nudist recreation, camping, hot springs, etc. Places with strict rules against sexual conduct, well enforced. If you want to show so much skin that you raise questions in those about you, you are acting out. What you really want is a strip club, and you want to be performing. You are hiding behind a sexual identity instead of growing as a person. Instead of skin, concentrate on keeping your honor intact (and I am not talking about chastity, although that may apply, too), your character including respect, honesty, and discipline. Learn the difference between humor and joy, and work to increase the joy in your life and the lives around you. (Hint: There has to be pain to have humor. Pranks and humor are often forms of bullying or victimizing.)
Not only that, but any guy you attract by flashing boobs or skin will jump at the next girl flashing boobs or skin, and the one after that, too. Get a guy because you are respectful and disciplined, and 1) you have much less competition; and 2) you will both be secure in your lives and less affected by temptations. That is the choice: Get a guy to keep, or a flashy guy you hold onto until something else catches his eye.
For myself, I would recommend that proms be restricted to school uniforms. Stop rewarding bad behavior – horrendously expensive clothes that lead thoughts in sexually oriented directions. Turn the picture around – we want to form secure families, then introduce sex to make babies. Modern proms are derived from the ‘Coming Out’ debutante balls of the rich and exclusive – mating ceremonies originally intended to get the girls married off.
Few guys worth having need more than a welcoming smile, anyway.
Thanks, Christy. Yes, I would have booted her.
Great response! I’m in the middle, I totally disagree with her choice of outfit (if you can even call it an outfit). But if I were there I would a put a sweater on her and let her attend the prom. I think she made a really bad choice, but I blame the parents. They must have known, and if they didn’t know that means that they’re not even there for her. I think that’s why I left out the part about her fighting, I guess I figured the handcuffs and missing the prom are punishment enough. I wouldn’t want to be her right now. How embarrassing!
Christy, Thanks for visiting!
Anyone wearing something inappropriate to the prom, and protesting the decision to send her home – isn’t likely to be embarrassed. This sounds like an attitude problem. And her behavior sure seems like the issue is defiance of authority – parents, teachers, police. I don’t care if she is honor roll, cheerleader, or clique-queen, I have to look at her behavior and reaction and say, “Well done, Texas!”
If she had made an innocent mistake, I expect she would have gone home when first told she wasn’t allowed in. She would likely have been embarrassed, and have to explain to her folks why the expense and didn’t get into the prom. And I could sympathize with a simple mistake. And maybe, if I trusted her to keep the sweater on, I might have allowed the sweater and let her continue with the event.
I just didn’t read any remorse in the story. Instead I saw a privileged girl more likely to be arrested (again?) than to succeed. Definitely undisciplined, probably poor self image, and access to money for a custom dress – a bad, bad mix for raising a responsible citizen.
When I took foster parent training some 18 years ago, they related that federal courts had held that failing to instill discipline in a child is actionable, criminal child abuse. I would like to have Child Protective Services interview the girl’s family. Objecting to the school officials, in public, in such a way as to bring in the police is a serious matter.