Comments on: Breakup recidivism http://www.itsaboutmakingbabies.com/2008/03/26/breakup-recidivism/ Dating, marriage, divorce, family -- and what sex is and isn't. Thu, 28 Aug 2008 19:34:05 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: Brad K http://www.itsaboutmakingbabies.com/2008/03/26/breakup-recidivism/#comment-8946 Brad K Wed, 23 Apr 2008 08:26:04 +0000 http://www.itsaboutmakingbabies.com/2008/03/26/breakup-recidivism/#comment-8946 Hot Alpha Female, 'strong' isn't the word I would use to describe managing to break away. Someone in a bad relationship stays because they don't know any better. In a good relationship, not knowing any different is one of the keys to success - you never think about living any differently. 'Not knowing any better' is about dreams, about perceptions, and about vision. You get to know someone, you adapt to a life in a home, and all you contemplate are small changes to make small improvements. Deciding to break up, in a long-term relationship or bad situation, is nearly a suicide - deciding to end the life you know. Not for something better, but just to end what is going on. I think it is more a breaking point, an act of despair, rather than finding strength. Only, with a breakup there is the grief, and the temptation to resume living the only life you know - returning to the ex - and the pain of recovery with the dislocation and confusion of trying to live without knowing how to go along. In a way this might be 'strength', and I admire those that break from the cycles of despair. And I also find those that endure to show a tremendous strength. I suspect that random chance, and concern of people around them, are more important in choosing change over continuing. I think the deciding factor is vision, not strength. The vision to see that change is possible. Hot Alpha Female, ’strong’ isn’t the word I would use to describe managing to break away.

Someone in a bad relationship stays because they don’t know any better. In a good relationship, not knowing any different is one of the keys to success - you never think about living any differently.

‘Not knowing any better’ is about dreams, about perceptions, and about vision. You get to know someone, you adapt to a life in a home, and all you contemplate are small changes to make small improvements. Deciding to break up, in a long-term relationship or bad situation, is nearly a suicide - deciding to end the life you know. Not for something better, but just to end what is going on. I think it is more a breaking point, an act of despair, rather than finding strength.

Only, with a breakup there is the grief, and the temptation to resume living the only life you know - returning to the ex - and the pain of recovery with the dislocation and confusion of trying to live without knowing how to go along. In a way this might be ’strength’, and I admire those that break from the cycles of despair.

And I also find those that endure to show a tremendous strength. I suspect that random chance, and concern of people around them, are more important in choosing change over continuing. I think the deciding factor is vision, not strength. The vision to see that change is possible.

]]> By: Hot Alpha Female http://www.itsaboutmakingbabies.com/2008/03/26/breakup-recidivism/#comment-8941 Hot Alpha Female Wed, 23 Apr 2008 06:34:56 +0000 http://www.itsaboutmakingbabies.com/2008/03/26/breakup-recidivism/#comment-8941 The best revenge is living well .... thats is something that i whole heartedly agree with! I still think that a lot of people run back to their ex's because they have used them as emotional support for SO LONG and are not strong enough to comfort themselves in that moment. I only know that because i have been there before. Broken up with someone and days after that happened had this huge urge to want to be with them, to make things work out .. and yadda yadda. Its kind of like having withdrawal symptoms from a drug. N the weeks after you get off them are going to be the hardest weeks ever. But if you make it through that .. then it can only get better from there onwards. yes we can be needy .. but sometimes we need to learn our lessons so that we can be strong. Hot Alpha Female Latest post -- Talk is cheap and so are YOU! http://www.hotalpahfemale.blogspot.com The best revenge is living well …. thats is something that i whole heartedly agree with!

I still think that a lot of people run back to their ex’s because they have used them as emotional support for SO LONG and are not strong enough to comfort themselves in that moment.

I only know that because i have been there before. Broken up with someone and days after that happened had this huge urge to want to be with them, to make things work out .. and yadda yadda.

Its kind of like having withdrawal symptoms from a drug. N the weeks after you get off them are going to be the hardest weeks ever.

But if you make it through that .. then it can only get better from there onwards.

yes we can be needy .. but sometimes we need to learn our lessons so that we can be strong.

Hot Alpha Female

Latest post — Talk is cheap and so are YOU!

http://www.hotalpahfemale.blogspot.com

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