About criticism
Cathouse Teri wrote “You May Be Right ~ I May Be Crazy“. The following is my response. I wrote this here, rather than there, because it probably seems a bit .. much for a comment.
You know what I love about my kids? Not one of them is insecure about who they are. …
All of this self-confidence sounds very well and good, right? Well oddly enough, and as attractive as it is, I’ve found that others sort of bristle at this trait. They get pissed off because you are not miserable like they are. When someone tries to get you to do something “their” way and you refuse, people cry out, “Good for you!” But when THEY are the ones trying to get “their” way, it’s a whole different cry they make! They say, “Oh… so you think you are perfect?
This feels a bit like apples and oranges.
1) This thing we call a ’society’ is an agreement of a bunch of people. Different people make different agreements about what is right,who does what, what words are OK, how families are arranged, etc. In the US we have one set of mostly-agreements, Iraq has another.
2) Right and wrong, mostly, is about following the agreements of your society. Some agreements are codified as rules, some as laws, some are enforced by others, others enforced by selected police, guards, pastors, etc.
3) No revolutionary is happy. Contentment is usually measured by the degree of adaptation to the current society. I.e, the Stepford Wives would have no sad days. Scary thought, huh?
a) Parents and culture - the experience of a society - form the character of a child. Most aspects of character are ’set’ by age four, for most people. After that it often takes trauma to make major changes, although one can choose to make changes later in life.
b) There are two kinds of people. One kind divides people into two kinds. The other kind doesn’t care.
c) People that notice when others deviate from culture, from the agreements, rules, or laws of society, might strengthen society by helping others adapt, making the difference betweem agreement and rebellion easier to resolve. Or they might criticize.
d) Societies, like families, grow wealthy and build reserves when peaceful, away from discord. But individuals, families, and societies *improve* when they examine fundamental assumptions and make choices about changes. And that usually takes trauma.
Growth or change is measured in pain. A bozo learning not to criticize others would experience as much pain, or more, than you would if you took the criticism to heart and made yourself ‘perfect’. Sometimes change is the right thing. Usually, though, the best response is a feeling of pity for the horrible crap the bozo will experience, getting a real, thinking brain shoved into his head.
Umm .. I think that means I agree with you, CT?
March 26th, 2008 at 6:39 am
No-one writes a comment like you do Brad! The last para was brilliant - I tune out those types of bozos because the rubbish they come out with is their way of trying to project their crap onto you!