About ‘Understand the language that women speak’
Hot Alpha Female explains about “Understand The Language That Women Speak“. Hot Alpha Female believes dating should proceed from a first date to a lasting relationship. (Rather than picking a reliable mate-prospect with solid character and known family and friend bonds and good reputation, and then courting that prospect.) She makes the observation:
I hear so many guys complain that all girls want from a guy is stability, a credit card and a nice car.
I have to think that this would be more true for girls that haven’t carefully considered what it means to pick a mate and form a family.
Children are raised to look to their parents for money, for gifts, for approval. When most of us begin practicing dating behavior we are still in school, comparing the ‘flash’ of a date’s position in class standing, in athletics, in class-evaluated ‘prettiest’. How could we not? Most parents go overboard with how pretty, how precious, how wonderful their kids are. So most of us expect that we deserve the acclaim, and the ‘best’ date.
What many parents fail to tell us, or that many kids fail to hear, is that we need to grow up. We need to form a family, a serious affair to produce and raise children, to keep as many alive as possible, and to provide for injury, disaster, and charity.
So when a girl looks to a guy to provide for her, she doesn’t see money as an asset of the family, she sees an emotional affirmation of her self worth. And failing to provide the money, the attention, the credit card, the nice car - is seen as a rejection. Or worse, that the ‘date’ or partner isn’t good enough for her. For most girls, the equation is about childhood values, not family assets.
For women that have oriented themselves to making a family, the emotional rewards of shared respect and joy help to blend the discoveries, stresses, and disappointments into a mature perspective.
And this isn’t just a female thing. Guys are just as guilty of wishing to continue their self-reinforcing rebellious behavior throughout their relationships, instead of learning to be a mate and parent. Life generally intrudes, often brutally, to make many couples come together - or to shake them apart.
One description of the girl that wants the credit cards, the nice car, as ‘high maintenance’. That is, a girl focused on the goodies that Daddy used to provide. And I think Hot Alpha Female is wrong to dismiss this precocious leap from childhood to ‘dating’ as insignificant.