It’s About Making Babies!

NML on Baggage Reclaim lists several pieces of advice for taking your love life in a safer, more satisfying direction, in Happy New Year! Here’s To a Fresh Start.

One point caught my eye,

Ditch the Married Man or The Guy With The Girlfriend. We use ultimatums and deadlines to prolong the agony and to stall a decision. What are we waiting for? Whatever it is, deep down you know that if he’s still with her then you could be in for a very long wait.

NML is quite correct, dating someone with a Significant Other is a losing proposition, and you do harm to yourself and to both the SO and your date. You need to find a partner that is .. OK, I will say it .. available.

I wouldn’t say that the reason is that you could be in for a long wait. That isn’t a good reason to break off a relationship. Military service, schooling, remote work assignments - these things happen, and each should be evaluated clearly and openly. Many times the wait is a very good thing, for those ready to make that kind of commitment.

The real reason to break off an intimate relationship with a person is that you are wrong to think of them as a prospective partner. You may well be helping them find a relationship to sustain them. But they aren’t suitable. They have no loyalty, no character - no truth. An honest person will complete the breakup of a relationship before even noticing there are other people out there. In fact, noticing that there are other people out there is one way to know you are about done with any current relationship — and it is time to re-examine your bonds and vows.

Any man with a wife or girlfriend (or boyfriend) is disloyal and untrustworthy. And will *not* make a satisfactory partner. That is why you should leave him. In fact, pray to God that he never becomes ‘available’ to be a bigger part of your life. You already have enough disaster experience.

The flip side of the coin is also true. There are questions to be asked about your character if you are willing to take advantage of someone else’s breakup. Ruthless and uncaring come to mind, right off. The problem? An honest, honorable companion-that-could-be will run away from you, for your relationship with a married man. You need to live honorably, honestly, and you need honorable and honest people around you.

With good people around you, the chances of meeting someone suitable increase.

Be sure to tell the married women among friends and family that you want to meet someone suitable - and specify strong character as the first requirement.

Blessed be!