It’s About Making Babies!

I grew up in another era. In northwest Iowa, on a farm. My father raised hogs, and milked cows until about the time I was 12. That would have been 1964.

I heard of Rosa Parks on the radio in the school bus, and when Elvis entered the US Army. We also listened to a 1 minute daily serial vignette called ‘Chicken Man’ (he’s everywhere! he’s everywhere!).

My father served in the US Navy during the last year or so of WWII. He spent much of his tour of duty in a mess hall in Hawaii. He told a number of times, how he got transferred between one group and another - the second group all black, making Dad the only white face in the bunch. I don’t recall him naming any man he met in the US Navy - but he always said that the black crew were the best guys to work with. And that was the sum of what I knew of African Americans, growing up.

Well, not completely. We took family car vacations each summer, and visited various cities and states. I learned there are friendly people, hostile people, dangerous people. And usually it depends more on who the person chooses to associate with and how they were raised than anything else. We studied the Underground Railroad in school, teaching that there were problems worth escape at any cost, and that sometimes there was a refuge and people that cared.

Today I see a deep conflict between the notion of family as distorted by divorce courts and the IRS, and the welfare of women and children of all backgrounds. I see Homeland ‘insecurity’ vying with rights to privacy and human rights. And I see Congress, as usual, pandering to special interests and viewing everything as to how it pertains to getting the Congressman or Senator re-elected. The recent explosion of digital phones and other portable devices erodes the time children spend with their parents. Conversely, adults spend so much time dialed in to others that they neglect those around them - colleagues, children, spouse.

And the racial balance in prison is still unbalanced, in favor of poverty, and of lawless communities. Courts and juries are unbalanced in favor of racial stereotypes, and of high-priced lawyers. Newspapers, as they always have, print stories to interest the people that their advertisers are used to, while appearing (and sometimes claiming) to serve ‘the community’.

We need lots of dreams of hope, of change, of better ways to live. Of fairer laws and tolerant beliefs. We just have to make room for them.

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Crystal at Boobs, Injuries, & Dr. Pepper invited visitors to her site to Renew The Dream. Sorry, Crystal. I see a couple of immense problems, with fairly simple (but unlikely) solutions, but not a dream.

I have what I call my ‘New Horse Rule’: I don’t expect a horse to do anything correctly that I haven’t checked out in a training situation.

If you haven’t tasted her cooking, don’t assume she will or can cook. If you haven’t seen him do laundry, don’t assume he knows what the dryer is for, where the clothes hamper is, or what all those liquids and powders do. If you haven’t spent a couple of weeks together, casually, don’t assume he/she does house cleaning, chores, dishes, laundry, shower/bathe, etc. on a regular basis.

If you haven’t enjoyed carnal pleasures with each other, don’t assume the other is interested in sex, enjoys it, has any particular favorites or skills, or knows how to relate to a partner.

Keep track of what is said. Anything you haven’t heard your partner discuss may be something they won’t or can’t discuss, or don’t know anything about. Politics, religion, honesty, like/love/desire/passion/hungry. Don’t assume feelings that haven’t been expressed. At the same time, don’t assume that your prospective partner means the same thing you thought their words meant.

Someone, somewhere decided (Summer of Love?) that it was OK for a woman, not a wife or prostitute, to sleep with a man. Then he is supposed to call her 24 hours after. *Do not* assume that he or she have ever heard of this rule. Don’t assume that your partner wants sex because she/he wants to be your spouse - or that your intimate partner even wants another date.

Discuss these things. Learn to understand what your partner says - before trying to discuss important things. Like, “Will you respect me?” an old-fashioned phrase that meant, “Will you marry me, after?”

Review and cover your expectations, in the training area. Not in the bedroom.