Belittling as a habit
Diminutive names. Baby talk. Bobby, Tommy, Sis, Baby.
Brendan Fraser has an extremely potent line in the otherwise far-fetched ‘Blast From The Past’ movie. He explains to a friend that manners are an expression of respect. Getting ‘formal’ is not about thinking yourself above others, but treating others as being responsible, and worthy of respect.
So what does it mean, when you are on a date, and your date never uses your name they way you prefer? When you have to answer to Baby, to Sugar? Are these endearments, or signs that your date considers you a possession or barely competent? Oops. That starts looking like a red flag!
You will want to know if your prospective life mate calls everyone by name. Some people grow up making kid’s names for other people. This is often an endearment, an expression of affection. But it also establishes a responsible person relationship to a dependent person. Call Samuel ‘Sammy’, and you express a difference in class, that Sammy is lower in stature, lower in social position, is less experienced/mature. A child to be taken care of. Many families do this, teaching their kids to belittle others, without ever thinking why. Other people learn it from friends, or at school, or at church. Who has ever heard a sermon with the phrase ‘little Tommy’ when describing an illustrative scene?
So if you start catching kiddie type names, make sure that your name-caller knows when to be respectful with you and with others.