Comments on: Why the ‘bad’ boys ‘get lucky’ http://www.itsaboutmakingbabies.com/2007/06/16/why-the-bad-boys-get-lucky/ Dating, marriage, divorce, family -- and what sex is and isn't. Sat, 13 Feb 2010 19:59:25 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Brad K http://www.itsaboutmakingbabies.com/2007/06/16/why-the-bad-boys-get-lucky/comment-page-1/#comment-3849 Brad K Tue, 19 Jun 2007 20:59:16 +0000 http://www.itsaboutmakingbabies.com/2007/06/16/why-the-bad-boys-get-lucky/#comment-3849 I see consequences accumulating. Only after some number of disasters do we say, "Gee, I want to avoid *that* next time!" Those looking to build a family are plannint for the future, planning what consequences that want to follow their actions (babies, security, joy, etc.) The bad kids don't plan. They don't trust the future, or they are set to defy tomorrow. In either case, the consequences won't affect their decisions until a couple of disasters bing home the problem. If then. Remember, once you choose a plan, there is inertia to keep you on that plan, and fear about changing to an untried way of going. The bad kids, and playing up to the bad kids, take as much skill as any other social intercourse. It takes time to learn how. Learning an alternate, unrelated way to select a date, to evaluate a date for life mate and co-parent potential -- how does one learn to do that? It is much easier to let the smooth talker suggest that you can find fun together. I only see consequences helping those with character and making babies on their mind. Those seeking thrills refuse or can't see the consequences. I see consequences accumulating. Only after some number of disasters do we say, “Gee, I want to avoid *that* next time!” Those looking to build a family are plannint for the future, planning what consequences that want to follow their actions (babies, security, joy, etc.)

The bad kids don’t plan. They don’t trust the future, or they are set to defy tomorrow. In either case, the consequences won’t affect their decisions until a couple of disasters bing home the problem. If then. Remember, once you choose a plan, there is inertia to keep you on that plan, and fear about changing to an untried way of going.

The bad kids, and playing up to the bad kids, take as much skill as any other social intercourse. It takes time to learn how. Learning an alternate, unrelated way to select a date, to evaluate a date for life mate and co-parent potential — how does one learn to do that? It is much easier to let the smooth talker suggest that you can find fun together.

I only see consequences helping those with character and making babies on their mind. Those seeking thrills refuse or can’t see the consequences.

]]> By: NML http://www.itsaboutmakingbabies.com/2007/06/16/why-the-bad-boys-get-lucky/comment-page-1/#comment-3846 NML Tue, 19 Jun 2007 18:13:24 +0000 http://www.itsaboutmakingbabies.com/2007/06/16/why-the-bad-boys-get-lucky/#comment-3846 I think the whole consequences thing is at the heart of it and you put it so aptly. No matter what bad is out there, often the consequences don't measure up to the promise of what we were told would happen if we did it. I always say to women that even the good guys know that bad guys can be the way that they are because there is always a long line of women. The only way this will ever change is if women change. Trust me, if a guy thought he would have very limited success with the ladies due to his bad behaviour, he'd change. I think the whole consequences thing is at the heart of it and you put it so aptly. No matter what bad is out there, often the consequences don’t measure up to the promise of what we were told would happen if we did it. I always say to women that even the good guys know that bad guys can be the way that they are because there is always a long line of women. The only way this will ever change is if women change. Trust me, if a guy thought he would have very limited success with the ladies due to his bad behaviour, he’d change.

]]>