It’s About Making Babies!

Seth Godin pointed out something obvious, yet quite profound. In dialogue, many of us have a problem with what Seth calls being ‘coachable‘. Coachable means that someone can give you advice, you will then consider the advice, and decide whether to act on the advice or not.

This seems pretty straight forward, and most of us will think, ‘why that isn’t such a big deal, I do that all the time’.

But Seth points out the signs that a person has issues about being ‘coachable’.
* Challenging the credentials of the coach
* Announcing that you’re being unfairly singled out
* Pointing out, angrily, that the last few times, the coach was wrong
* Identifying others who have succeeded without ever being coached
* Resisting a path merely because it was one identified by a coach

I am not sure whether this notion occurred in a business setting, because of a reference he found about tryouts for the Bolshoi Ballet (they picked among 8 year old girls, for the ones that took direction best). But this seems to me to be critical to the start of most arguments.

Ask any employer. The people that are most valued aren’t necessarily the most talented, they are often those that accept assignments and direction quietly, then competently perform as requested. Those that react with ‘why me’, with ‘that’s unfair’, or resentment about who is giving the instruction are problems for any organization, waste time, and interfere with group dynamics.

Can it be any different at home? Keep in mind, ‘It is not peace, if the alternative to war is tyranny’, I am not advocating allowing a bully free rein, this works both ways. Suppose one is riding in a vehicle, and mentions that the next turn is getting near. Ideally the driver would consider the planned route, and either respond ‘Yep’ or ‘Thanks’, or ‘I am planning on taking ‘x’ road’. If there is resentment, an ‘I am driving’, or ‘Do you want to drive?!’, or ‘Stop nagging’. Oops. Looks like ‘coachable’ issues.

This concept of ‘coachable’ appears to include talking back to parents and teachers, to unhelpful flarings of emotion in dialogues between co-workers and in the home. Just think, a pattern of not being coachable prevents advice from being offered — no one enjoys being sniped at. We might miss important and useful conversations or help, from our kids, our neighbors, those we work with. Or the policeman trying to be polite and write you ticket — that could get worse if you aren’t careful.

Now I have to think. How coachable am I?

This entry was posted on Monday, June 11th, 2007 at 5:57 pm and is filed under Interactions, Society. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.