Comments on: Stop giving unwanted gifts http://www.itsaboutmakingbabies.com/2007/04/04/stop-giving-unwanted-gifts/ Dating, marriage, divorce, family -- and what sex is and isn't. Sat, 13 Feb 2010 19:59:25 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Brad K http://www.itsaboutmakingbabies.com/2007/04/04/stop-giving-unwanted-gifts/comment-page-1/#comment-3044 Brad K Fri, 06 Apr 2007 03:32:08 +0000 http://www.itsaboutmakingbabies.com/2007/04/04/stop-giving-unwanted-gifts/#comment-3044 Actually, I meant the part about friends and family, to mean that you have to have friends to ask. People that haven't learned to keep friends, and that are also estranged from family, are less skilled in evaluating the people they encounter, understanding what motivates the people around them, and are less practiced in managing how much energy and resources they want to devote to nurturing the various people in their lives. I consider making the three or five friends a necessary first step, to be accomplished before considering taking a mate. And you are right. Taking advice into consideration when making choices is important. People that can ask advice, then make their own decision, are more likely to make good choices. And it is *critical* that the prospect appear to be the same person with each friend and parent, and the person considering a commitment. Prospects that wear different faces for different people may not know themselves at all, or may be prone to deception and camouflage (i.e., lack of integrity and respect). Actually, I meant the part about friends and family, to mean that you have to have friends to ask. People that haven’t learned to keep friends, and that are also estranged from family, are less skilled in evaluating the people they encounter, understanding what motivates the people around them, and are less practiced in managing how much energy and resources they want to devote to nurturing the various people in their lives. I consider making the three or five friends a necessary first step, to be accomplished before considering taking a mate.

And you are right. Taking advice into consideration when making choices is important. People that can ask advice, then make their own decision, are more likely to make good choices. And it is *critical* that the prospect appear to be the same person with each friend and parent, and the person considering a commitment. Prospects that wear different faces for different people may not know themselves at all, or may be prone to deception and camouflage (i.e., lack of integrity and respect).

]]> By: NML http://www.itsaboutmakingbabies.com/2007/04/04/stop-giving-unwanted-gifts/comment-page-1/#comment-3033 NML Thu, 05 Apr 2007 07:40:24 +0000 http://www.itsaboutmakingbabies.com/2007/04/04/stop-giving-unwanted-gifts/#comment-3033 As always, you make excellent points. You have honed in the dynamics of giving and recognised that if she doesn't take care of herself and stand back a little, she risks getting into very negative, unhappy behaviour. I like your point about how a partner is around family and friends - many people choose to ignore this but it is generally a very important indicator. As always, you make excellent points. You have honed in the dynamics of giving and recognised that if she doesn’t take care of herself and stand back a little, she risks getting into very negative, unhappy behaviour. I like your point about how a partner is around family and friends – many people choose to ignore this but it is generally a very important indicator.

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