Scott’s Downer Rating
OK, on the Dilbert Blog, Scott announced a new rating scheme for movies. The Downer Rating. This rating would help Scott avoid movies that aren’t happy movies. Scott also wants to avoid movies that don’t have happy endings or Mel Gibson or Steven Spielberg.
Who is to produce this downer rating — the studio, reviewers, popcorn sales reports from theatres, ratio of bathroom visits per 100 ticket sales for each theatre? I also like happy movies, but I tend to the novelty and obscure stories.
‘Ballad of Little Jo’ was probably 60% downer — the ‘long arduous journey’ tale, and the ‘happy’ part is the secret didn’t come out until Little Jo died. A drama in the finest sense of the word, in my opinion.
‘Nuns on the Run’ would likely rate 15% down, with a happy ending (?) I think, the heroes (crooks!) get away, while leaving half the loot to the church for drug rehab. And to redeem the drunk, gambling nun Sister Mary. Robbie Coltrane and Eric Idle (from Monty Python), Janet Sussman.
‘Love Actually’ with Emma Thompson, Hugh Grant, many others might be 12% downer, with a mostly happy ending — nearly everyone gets more than they deserve. I consider this one of my ‘Christmas’ movies, with ‘Die Hard’, ‘Long Kiss Goodnight’, and ‘While You Were Sleeping’.
‘Mulan’ should likely get a 25% downer, with a happy ending. Pretty happy flick, not much on character development but likable characters.
‘Dave’ with Kevin Kline and Sigourney Weaver, about a 12% downer with happy ending, was more fun for me than the more introspective ‘The American President’ (22% downer, mostly happy ending). Dave was more fanciful, the bad guys were bad, the good guys succeed. The ending isn’t completely happy, but mostly.
‘Under Siege’ is likely not on our ‘go immediately’ list, as you probably lump Steven Segal and Kevin Costner with Mel Gibson in the ‘avoid’ category. But the music is kinda catchy in Under Siege, the ship looked like a US Navy ship, maybe a bit nostalgic. And of course the cute lady flashes once.
‘My Chauffeur’ is dated — girl hires into limo company as driver. Cute, though, the bad guy turns into a great catch for the intrepid girl. Maybe 8% downer rating.
I think I would prefer a ’see it again’ rating. For instance, I saw ‘Sound of Music’ 12 times in the theatre. But then I was bored, and saw ‘Working Girl’ 11 times. I have some favored movies that I enjoy seeing again and again, others that were great (or not) but I won’t be seeing them again if I can help it. I have watched ‘Down Periscope’ 6 times this year, ‘Mumford’ at least 8 times, and ‘Under Siege’ 4 times. ‘Love Actually’ 7 times at least. Not that these are serious and rewarding in the literature sense, but because they tell a story in a way that is fun to hear again. Cowboy poets know what this means, any parent that reads to their kid knows there are ‘favorite’ stories that are requested time and again, and preachers don’t seem to understand this at all, come sermon time.
And besides. ‘Downer’ is from C.J. Cherryh’s ‘Downbelow Station’ and ‘Merchanter’s Luck’, ‘Cyteen’ and other linked stories, for the natives of the planet named by human explorers as ‘Down Below’. The Hisa, as the downers name themselves, will be the only Downers for me.
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