I visited ‘Smart At Love’.
Annie Denison at Smart At Love writes about “All men ever think about is sex“. Annie asks about whether the statistic of ‘On average, men think about sex every seven seconds’ is an urban legend, or a fact.
I suspect the ’seven second’ thing is ‘in a social situation’. While driving tractor, riding my horse, or gardening, I am pretty sure my sex-thinking is distracted somewhat. But when shopping, in line at a movie, gas station, or in a restaurant? Then social conditioning directs that I evaluate every individual. There are the ‘threat potential’, the ‘known friends and acquaintances’, the ’sex partner potential’, the ’sex competition potential’, and the ’sex inappropriate’ values to calculate. As I passed age 50, I started lumping everyone into ’sex inappropriate’ unless I got a smile, then I interpret that smile as a social grace instead of a sexual invitation or proposition. It took me more than 35 years, including 3 years at a nudist resort, to conclude that without the smile, the rest doesn’t matter. Unless I get a smile the lady will never allow me meet her, let alone establish a relationship.
Annie mentions the issue of men thinking about sex, and women ‘overanalizing’ the meanings of interactions. These reactions are most certainly taught by commercial advertising, if not by our mothers and fathers, or older siblings and friends. Since before the Renaissance, women have been sold by societies to build fortunes and oppress opposition. Today the privileged few debutantes ‘come out’ at balls, many schools have equivalent ‘prom’ dances to gussy up those women newly-available to the marriage market place. Instead of a focus on marriage vows, establishing finances and family responsibilities, the first questions are the bride’s dress and attendant’s colors. Which the groom doesn’t have to worry about. Is it any wonder that a girl grows to womanhood living and breathing relationships of who will stand with her, who against, and how to maneuver to the ‘best’ position? However artificial a ‘community’ football players enjoy, typical high school focus is not on math, debate, or foreign languages. It is the football team, the cheerleaders, and the homecoming and prom queens. Whatever else cheerleaders, homecoming and prom queens bring to their role, the history is that the roles were designed to make the men look good. I think the real question about women in the world, such as Margaret Thatcher and Golda Meir, is not how they came to power in a man’s world, but how so many men managed to bluff their way onto the stage with so many women with backgrounds in position-holding and social maneuvering!
Annie also comments about PDA’s.
… men in her world are “Constantly adjusting themselves (read: touching their penises).” In other words, she’s been witnessing too many Public Displays of Adjusting.
I grew up in rural Iowa some 50 years ago. In my time I have noticed many women become more self-conscious about adjusting their brassiere in public. As a male, I am almost certainly more aware of women touching their breasts, than I am of men adjusting their shorts. But the need to release constricted or adhered folds of skin are pretty similar. Personally I also lump in women choosing a blouse or shirt with cutouts showing cleavage — the area between and including the sides of the breasts — as a sexually explicit PDA.
Unlike myself, Annie Denison is a Ph.D. in Pschology and well versed in her subject matter. I found her articles interesting and fun to read.