It’s About Making Babies!

I saw a Dr. Phil episode this morning. Dr. Phil address a 17 year old girl in a relationship with a 30 year old, incarcerated man. At the beginning of the segment the girl believed she was in a relationship. Dr. Phil, agreeing with the girl’s mother that the relationship was Bad News — ended it. I watched a young woman lose her relationship, on national TV.

Then, today on the Mrs. Genuine blog, Mrs. G’s Peek, I read how a mother loves her daughter. Listing the reasons why.

And yet, there are those that claim a parent’s love is eternal, always, without exception, and cannot be lost.

I hold that love is a question that is never asked: Do I want to be here? As long as the answer is yes, is assumed to be true, and the question is not asked — you are in love.

Any love can become broken. A parent’s, a child’s, a lover’s. By an ill-considered word or phrase, or a deliberate verbal attack. Those around us affect us. And we affect them. We are the ones that will recognize that our love for another has ended. But our decision can be driven by the intervention of a parent, friend … or professional or entertainer such as Dr. Phil.

What we can do, is to understand that the love those about us have for ourselves is fragile. One moment of anger, or mistake, or deception, and the basis for their love is gone. What we can do, is to help them .. never ask that questions, about whether they want to be here. Treasure each and every aquaintance as if the person and relationship are as valuable as gold, and as fragile as tissue paper.

One of those odd things about the golden rule (do unto others as you would have them do to you). If you surround yourself with people while acting with honor and respect, those you meet and get to know only have to see compassion, honor, and respect in your behavior to continue to enjoy your company.

What Dr. Phil pulled on that young girl today, causing her to turn from a cherished relationship, may have been for a ‘good cause’. She may be safer, socially and medically. But was this the right thing to do for her mental health? Will she be as capable of joy, and of joining with others? Wasn’t sandbagging her on national TV a deception? Dr. Phil may not play the audience quite the way Jerry Springer does, but was this move any less cynical? I believe I was more dismayed at the tactic Dr. Phil used, than the poor girl at the (manipulated) end of her end of the relationship. Dr. Phil has his moment in the sun on his show. Who will teach this girl how to select, and find joy in, appropriate partners?

This was a disturbing day.

This entry was posted on Friday, March 17th, 2006 at 5:00 pm and is filed under Interactions, Society. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.