Archive for March, 2005

Where is that boob?

Saturday, March 26th, 2005

This was forwarded to me by a lady that apparently believes the information will contribute to my personal growth.

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.
“So, how is everything going?” inquired God..

“It is all so beautiful, God,” she replied. “The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It is these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real
pain,”reported Eve.

And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc……….she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more “symmetrically balanced,” as she put it.

“That is a fair point,” replied God, “But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away.”

And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.

“Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?”

“Just fantastic,” she replied, “But for one oversight on your part.

You see, all! the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.”

God thought for a moment and said, “You know, Eve, you are right.

How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you.. Now let’s see…………where did I put the useless boob?”

The email thread started with Julia Sayler. I thank her, second hand, for this important insight.

For more on a similar vein, I commend the recording ‘The Janitor’, a reading by Geoffrey Lewis, on the Celestial Navigations compilation.

Enjoy!

Brad K.

Cultural markers

Sunday, March 6th, 2005

Cultural markers allow us to move into and out of the various cultures we encounter. Markers that identify us as from troubling or dangerous groups, or groups that have nothing to offer will make our lives difficult. Other mannerisms and speech characteristics can help us gain acceptance.

When I served in the US Navy many of my fellow sailors acted and behaved in predictable fashion. We were mostly single, young, and ennamored of myths of the glories of chasing women and drinking a lot. Our language was often vulgar, our attention usually more on thrill of the moment than the good of the community (which often tolerated or disparaged our service, as in Norfolk, VA’s ‘Dogs and Sailors Keep Off The Grass’ signs). Often the close haircut, the clothes were wore off duty, our language, and the way we chose companions or gathered in groups marked us as sailors. Locals often feared our capacity for rowdy behavior, mischief, and messes from being drunk. Since our work involved national service, any contribution we made to the community was usually incidental or indirect; Navy communities liked the salaries we spent there, but we were not considered ‘good citizens’, and not the most welcome of guests.

In college there were various aggregations of students — jocks, the quiet students, the rowdy partiers. There were markers to tell each, and expectations of the kinds of behavior, of each group. Style of dress, mannerisms, speech patterns and vocabulary, and behavior made it easy to ‘peg’ most of us into the culture we primarily lived in.

Today I watched a Tech School student, apparently sober and clean, playing with a pocket knife (bare minutes after his mother told him to stop playing with the knife). He started with ‘No, I didn’t cut my shoe. I was stabbing the steel toe, and missed.’ He then laid the 3 inch edge of the blade against the inside of his forearm and pressed down. Hard. Looked up and grinned, ‘See it didn’t cut! Hurts, though.’ This young man should have been in the Navy.

We all look at those around us, and look for cultural markers. Is this person a member of a group that is dangerous to be around? Does that person act like those I respect and honor? Does that man’s speech indicate he works and lives around polite people or vulgar? Is that woman so invested in make-up and stylish clothes as to have no room left for a life of honor and respect? Does that person have tattoos or piercings that indicate they find rebellion and self-gratification more important that fitting in and contributing to a polite society?

I realize that I fling the term ‘polite society’ around as if there really is such a thing. I guess what I call a polite society is the way that I live this week. That is, the people I associate with either offer me companionship and respect, or at least do not offer me harm. I feel that I support and respect most of those I come in contact with on a regular basis.

In a larger sense there are many cultures in any community. Some are better educated, some based around common region of residence, some common worship practices, some based on common shopping or business interests, some based on common hobbies, sports, etc. There is always some gaining and dropping away of memberships in each culture. Some cultures, like college fraternities or the US Navy have formal criteria to be considered, and formal acceptance and withdrawal processes. Others are casual, such as the people I often run into at the weekly flea market.

I find that rough speech is required to be relatively safe in certain dangerous or violent groups (cultures). Vulgar and disrespectful words and manners of speaking are common to other groups, such as some college and military groups. For the rest of society cuss words label you as belonging to a group that is either unlikely to be worth the trouble of associating with, or an active danger. At the least, the strongest vices, including rough speech, will spread to other group members. I see body piercings and tattoos as the same problem as vulgar speech. That is, those with piercings are apparently identified with groups that go about pierced — and have nothing to offer me that is worth my time.

Individuals belong to the groups, they are *not* the same as the group. So I know that as I become acquainted with individuals with various cultural markers, I may find them interesting and worthwhile companions — evaluated as individuals. Their problem is that they first presented themselves as someone that I should reasonably be expected to distrust.

Let me switch perspectives. I have no piercings, no tattoos. I do my best not to cuss, and seldom slip, depending on who I spend time with during my day. If I encounter sailor-type language I will be using that language to communicate as clearly as I can. I haven’t found a compelling reason for tatto or piercing, yet. My reasons include, those that I interact with for work and leisure, and my neighbors, tend to gentle speech and they don’t want their children knowing any more tattooed or pierced people. Also, polite speech and clean appearance make it easier for me to interact with other cultures. I consider this to be an expression of respect to others, and I perceive tattoes and piercings as an expression of disrespect in others.

As a programmer I am more successful and easier to work with acting like a corporate employer rather than as a pig farmer’s son. There is nothing wrong with being a pig farmer, a Navy veteran, or a software engineer, each has their own skills, jargon, culture, and values. Each has strengths to lend the other communities. But it pays to consider how and when we move between cultures, and what cultural markers we want to display at a given time.

Enjoy,

Brad K.