Watch their eyes
I have been interacting with children this last week. In quiet moments on the street or in a store, young ones will look around, and react to anyone that returns their regard.
At Lowes I noticed a 2nd grade girl hanging on a rolling store platform/ladder. It wasn’t that safe, and I considered saying something to her or her parents (evaluating bolts and other fasteners) nearby. When she noticed me looking, I frowned a bit and raised my brows — and she returned to her parents. I continued down another aisle. Just as I crossed the aisle where she waited with her parents I noticed her turn toward the ladder. I stepped back and looked at her again, and she again ran to daddy. Her parents never realized that she was playing with equipment not intended for children, that she had responded to a reminder to ‘be good’, that she had both ignored the instruction, and then once again responded to a reprimand. I wonder if they realize how much she watches people around her. She was well behaved, didn’t interrupt her parents, was quiet and seemed quite able and experienced at taking care of herself. My point is that this happy, mischievous, good little girl is like most kids. Any school teacher or sub reading about this little girl will likely agree — there may be a few exceptions, but most kids are just as watchful for free unobserved time, just as aware of what can be got away with and when to look innocent. Perhaps instead of drafting kids for the Army, we should draft parents for the school system, to teach Communication and Discipline with Little Ones.
While eating at a local shop, I often bring a book to read. A number of families shop there, so there are many toddlers and older kids. It is fascinating to see how many littles look around to see if there is anyone that will smile at them. Many littles modify their behavior based on who sees them — that is, an adult that meets their eyes with an exchange of expressions between the little and the adult. If no one sees them, they are free — unobserved. Many can be like my neighbor’s dog — who barks at me whenever she sees me. The neighbors are scrupulous about yelling at her when she barks at me, so she has come to believe that their yelling at her is just some strange need her people have when she barks at me. An ignored child is not being left to their sense of right-and-wrong in a store, they are not going to adhere to what they have been told is good and bad behavior. A child is either a person, and at least some of the people around them see them at all times — or they are outside discipline, free, unobserved.
You see people. Things you look at or inspect or ignore. Meet the eyes of the children and adults you meet, and see that they grow a bit in self-regard, self-worth, discipline, respect, and well being.
All without saying a word.
Brad K.