It’s About Making Babies!

I have been interacting with children this last week. In quiet moments on the street or in a store, young ones will look around, and react to anyone that returns their regard.

At Lowes I noticed a 2nd grade girl hanging on a rolling store platform/ladder. It wasn’t that safe, and I considered saying something to her or her parents (evaluating bolts and other fasteners) nearby. When she noticed me looking, I frowned a bit and raised my brows — and she returned to her parents. I continued down another aisle. Just as I crossed the aisle where she waited with her parents I noticed her turn toward the ladder. I stepped back and looked at her again, and she again ran to daddy. Her parents never realized that she was playing with equipment not intended for children, that she had responded to a reminder to ‘be good’, that she had both ignored the instruction, and then once again responded to a reprimand. I wonder if they realize how much she watches people around her. She was well behaved, didn’t interrupt her parents, was quiet and seemed quite able and experienced at taking care of herself. My point is that this happy, mischievous, good little girl is like most kids. Any school teacher or sub reading about this little girl will likely agree — there may be a few exceptions, but most kids are just as watchful for free unobserved time, just as aware of what can be got away with and when to look innocent. Perhaps instead of drafting kids for the Army, we should draft parents for the school system, to teach Communication and Discipline with Little Ones.

While eating at a local shop, I often bring a book to read. A number of families shop there, so there are many toddlers and older kids. It is fascinating to see how many littles look around to see if there is anyone that will smile at them. Many littles modify their behavior based on who sees them — that is, an adult that meets their eyes with an exchange of expressions between the little and the adult. If no one sees them, they are free — unobserved. Many can be like my neighbor’s dog — who barks at me whenever she sees me. The neighbors are scrupulous about yelling at her when she barks at me, so she has come to believe that their yelling at her is just some strange need her people have when she barks at me. An ignored child is not being left to their sense of right-and-wrong in a store, they are not going to adhere to what they have been told is good and bad behavior. A child is either a person, and at least some of the people around them see them at all times — or they are outside discipline, free, unobserved.

You see people. Things you look at or inspect or ignore. Meet the eyes of the children and adults you meet, and see that they grow a bit in self-regard, self-worth, discipline, respect, and well being.

All without saying a word.

Brad K.

There is a lot of agitation about ‘gay’ marriage today.

Let me make another proposal or two. Let’s look at what marriage is, what role it plays in the life of the community and nation, and how it affects the individuals married.

Marriage seems to be either about religion (or used to be), tax status, or children. With the legal aspects of marriage today, easy marriage and court-involved dissolution, failure of rule-of-law to protect marriage, and the fact that worldwide our ‘one woman, one man’ form is only one of several.

Marriage licenses are issued to most that asked, once certain legal requirements are met, or appear to be met: Age of consent is about the only restriction, unless one or both partners lie. Any marriage can be dissolved by divorce with adequate funds, where historically only abandonment was available. Society has decided to stop enforcing laws relating to adultery and other violations of the marriage vows made to state and partner.

I fail to see that the federal or state governments, responding to the will of the people, really care about ‘the sanctity’ of marriage. When was the last divorce denied? Adultery prosecution? One of the most *active* types of ‘dating’ websites and ’swingers’ networks is married women. As I understand the crime of adultery, it is a married adult engaging in sex with an adult they are not married to. Landlords have been prosecuted for denying housing to couples known to be ‘cohabiting’. Where is the interest in the ’sanctity’ of marriage?

Marriages are performed as religious ceremonies. Sometimes. Others are performed by civil servants, captains of vessels at sea, etc. Where is the universal, religious definition of marriage? The state recognizes a religious ceremony (with filing of state marriage license), and the church recognizes the state divorce decree. Why do churches recognize state decrees of divorce, which ‘undo’ a religious ceremony? Is marriage fundamentally, or even apparently, a religious relationship. I question this aspect of marriage. A lot. I also have questions about ‘the wedding at Canaan’ where Jesus was said to turn water to wine. Nothing is said about how many adults were involved in that wedding — multiple wives was common at that time, often a measure of wealth. Where do the records clearly identify that the bride was the first for the groom, or the last? Why is this event used to posit the Italian Merchant Prince practice of one woman, one man, used to establish lines of inheritance for merchant empires?

Of course, you can guess my position. Marriage is about making babies. And about tax status.

So I recommend choosing. Either define marriage is between ‘adults with children’, or ‘adults intending to mingle tax status’. I refuse to believe that the entire world, outside of the US, can tolerate the presence of marriages with more than two partners, and the US would cease to exist, children and wives abused, and Wall Street would collapse if permitted here.

Utah, and the Church of Latter Day Saints (the Mormons) are a dirty ’secret’ for the rest of the nation. This is abysmal. People were killed in the 1800’s because of their ability to envision and live a lifestyle, successfully, that included multiple wives. Remember, the nation, the community, and many churches require of citizens: “Make babies.” Making and raising babies responsibly is why, I believe, governments get into marriage. Governments stay involved in marriage to defend property rights. Whether the practice of polygamy is still practiced by Mormons, in Utah or elsewhere, is their business, not a perversion for others to snigger about. Any thriving household with care for all is to be admired.

For me the choice is clear — either marriage is about making babies, and children are going to have to be present (or a physician’s affidavit of pregnancy) to be valid, or it is about tax status. For the good of the nation and the community I see no value in discerning between couples or other groups of adult if fertility isn’t evaluated.

If one were to truly believe marriage were ’sacred’, we would see cohabitation prosecuted, we would see adultery and abandonment prosecuted, instead we see these marriage-destructive practices protected in the courts.

Really.

Brad K.