Fashion, sex, and mating
Sex sells. OK, we have all heard this. Sugar also sells. Sugar is fine in it’s place — it makes a moderately effective food preservative. Used for changing the taste of food, however, sugare quickly leads to unsuitable behaviour — overeating and obesity.
Clothes serve several purposes. They allow comfort in a wider temperature range than the skin allows, they provide protection from harsh environments, such as sun, sand, and industrial hazards like fire and flying debris. The choice of clothing ranges from ‘How durable’ and ‘How protective’ to ‘Which guy/girl will be excited to meet me when I wear it?’ Most clothing companies have some part, if not all, of their product line designed to help the wearer meet or excite potential or existing mates (sexual partner that helps to produce a child).
With the emphasis and apparent activity of the adults of America focused on attracting mates to make babies with, what message are we sending our children? Such great effort goes in to the interest, accessories, and skills of attracting a mate — when will we teach them to be satisfied after a mate is chosen. Instead we teach that only the skills to *attract* are useful or necessary. I feel one factor feeding the high divorce rate is allowing our young people to develop skills to attract (dating, obsessing over ‘beautiful’ magazine, movie, and TV stars), and never allow them to observe or develop skills to *live* a life of parenting and couplehood.
I watch my neighbor teaching his 12 year old grandson to drive tractor, lawn mower, and truck. After one or two tries the kid claims experience in driving any vehicle. He will spend years encouraged and guided to gain dating skills — how many lessons will his parents/grandparents provide or insist on at the conclusion of his dating, to teach him how to *stop* trying to attract women, to be interested only in the family he is making?
I see some young people that use their dating skills during their marriage or cohabitation instead of ‘keeping’ skills. Guys as well as gals spend so much time admiring and evaluting other member’s of their mate’s gender they never realize the amount of energy, time, and attention they fritter away.
I tend to avoid the really pretty people. They often define themselves so much in their appearance there is no ‘person’ or character available for connecting to others. For some the admiration of others is the goal, and there is no room for actually talking. Walking through an airport is often an exciting time for me. I spend my time looking for smiles. To me, the most attractive feature a woman can have is a welcoming smile. Without the smile, the rest will never do me any good, anyway. And I do prefer a clean face, no makeup, no tattoos, no piercings (anywhere!). If I want something painted I will buy a painting for over the sofa. Truly. If she really prefers me looking at her paintings, makeup, piercings, instead of her, I have to agree with her, and look for someone else.
I would not state that everyone that wears makeup, pierces, tattooes, or wears provacative clothes is depressed and has severe self-image distortions, but I do think that way about most painted, pierced, tattoed people.
Brad K.